Emma Curtis Johnson

A newly discovered bible interpretation manuscript believed to be written by Emma Curtis Johnson was discovered in the trunk of an old Ford outside of Roaring Knob, PA by well known scholar, Ina Gaddadavida who was researching ‘free market’ whiskey at the time.  Emma Curtis Johnson appears to be somehow related to an earlier Emma and likely suffered from the same inability to write in a way that conveys meaning. Ina,believes they were cousins in law. So here’s a paragraph of that newly discovered, riveting work that is bound to strain the very limits of what most agree on as sanity.

‘While fixing attention on the perpendicular nature of God, behold the Randy Rhinoceros of Jerusalem which sits at the right elbow of The Most High after devouring the Lamb and being eternally grateful never to hunger again but to pass wind with wool. Contemplate the 13th verse of the 6th proposition of the second movement but only after completing the first movement suggested by  Bob 3:89. ‘And I say unto you verily run away. Quickly. For the Randy Rhinoceros of Jerusalem cometh to stomp the slow and roger the timid. And you would not want to get any on you, dude.’ While you still can, affirm your denials and deny your affirmations thereby causing great confusion while making good your escape from the Great Horned Ungulate of Destiny.



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